


All this for the punchline

by fireinthedark



Category: Fail_Fandomanon RPF, second punic war - Fandom
Genre: Awful Puns, Gen, Multi, timetravel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6286753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireinthedark/pseuds/fireinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All this for the punchline

Overly Aggressive Anon had been arguing with Overly Earnest Anon, but now they were both on a hill overlooking a bunch of... Romans, looked like, getting into a fight.

Marathon Nonny had clearly been let at the time machine again. 

And so of course now Overly Aggressive Anon was stuck who knew when with Overly Earnest Anon of all people and wasn't that just fucking wonderful? NOT. 

"Oh, hey," Overly Ernest Anon said, looking at the tiny fighting Romans. "I know when we are." 

"Bollocks," Overly Agressive Anon said. "There's just NO WAY --" 

"Shh," Overly Ernest Anon went. 

"Don't you shush me!" 

"Listen, we're right at the beginning of the Second Punic War and if we get caught they'll probably think we're spies and then we'll die," Overly Ernest Anon said. She blinked. "Which would be bad." 

"No, ya think?" Overly Agressive Anon said, but she'd lowered her voice. Then what Overly Ernest Anon had said sunk in. "Wait. You're Hannibal/Scipio Anon, aren't you?" 

Overly Ernest Anon looked away and bit her lip. "Yeah, actually, I am." 

"Fucking great," Overly Agressive Anon said. "Not only am I stuck with Overly Earnest Anon, but I'm stuck with the one anon who is overly earnest about shit no one cares about." 

"Hey! Isn't caring about things no one cares about precisely what fandom is all about?" Hannibal/Scipio Anon said and of fucking course she'd edited 'shit' into 'things'. Of _fucking_ course. 

"No. Fandom is about porn," Overly Agressive Anon replied. 

Hannibal/Scipio Anon was going to protest when two men on horses burst in and levelled weapons at them. One of the men brought his fingers to his mouth to whistle. 

"You take the one on the right, I'll take one on the left," Overly Agressive Anon said. 

More horseriders showed up. 

"On second thoughts, run?" Hannibal/Scipio Anon asked. 

"Yeah." 

They ran. To be precise, they legged it like mofos down the side of the hill that was away from the battle, because Overly Agressive Anon did have some self-preservation instinct, thank you very much. 

Except legging it down the hill meant that they were running almost headfirst into the Romans fighting in the valley. Oops. 

It turned out Hannibal/Scipio Anon was enough of a nerd to speak mispronounced broken Latin, so the Romans didn't kill them and just captured them instead. Yay. 

"This is bad," Hannibal/Scipio Anon said. 

"Ya think?!" 

Hannibal/Scipio Anon didn't answer and Overly Agressive Anon elected not to keep fuming at them, because they did look contrite (and also the Romans were getting jittery and who wants they captors to be jittery? No one, that's who). 

"Sooooooooo," Overly Agressive Anon said a quietly as she could. "How about them Romans?" 

"Right now they're trying to decide if we're spies," Hannibal/Scipio Anon said. 

"Are we?" Overly Aggressive Anon asked. 

Hannibal/Scipio Anon gave her a look like 'how are you such a moron'. 

Overly Agressive Anon rolled her eyes. "Do they think we are?" 

"I would know if you stopped talking all over them," Hannibal/Scipio Anon said. 

Overly Agressive Anon made a face at Hannibal/Scipio Anon, but shut up. 

"Yeah, we should run," Hannibal/Scipio Anon said. 

Overly Agressive Anon legged it like a mofo, again, only to find out Hannibal/Scipio Anon was not following. Mods above, why was Overly Agressive Anon even bothering to with that loser and why did she feel responsible? And where even was Marathon Nonnie in the first place, huh? This whole situation was a goddamn mess, was what it was. 

And who had to fix the bloody thing? Overly Agressive Anon, of course, as always. 

Urgh. 

Bleh. 

Meh. 

Okay. 

Fine. 

She'd do it. BUT THAT DIDN'T MEAN SHE HAD TO LIKE IT. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 

So Overly Agressive Anon had to infiltrate the Roman camp. Overly Agressive Anon, as it were, did not speak Roman, beyond ROMANI ITE DOMUM, which would get her precisely nowhere. She needed to find someone who did speak Roman -- Latin, whatEVER. 

Overly Agressive Anon tracked down marathon nonny by shouting "DURANDAL SUCKS" really loud. it was very effective. marathon nonny was even more of a giant nerd than Hannibal/scipio anon and so probably deserved a medal as the biggest nerd to ever live because she spoke fluent latin. 

so now all they'd have to do was to find someone to get them into the roman camp. 

"oh, man, that's easy," said marathon nonny. "we just need to find messenger boy lucius. he's friends with nonny's brother who cycles in a toga." 

Overly Agressive Anon looked at the computer screen like she was on the office. "I know i'm breaking the fourth wall here, but the author wants me to hang a lampshade on the fact that the timeline in this fic is wacked. messenger boy lucius is from shakespeare's julius caesar, not the second punic war." Overly Agressive Anon turned back to marathon nonny. "yes and?" 

"that's Hannibal/Scipio Anon's brother." 

"how awfully convenient." 

"i don't make the rules!" 

Overly Agressive Anon kicked at the dirt. " How _awfully_ convenient." [Author's note: IT'S TOTALLY TRUUE, THOUGH.] 

*a montage of them teaming up with messenger boy lucius and rescuing oea goes here and dragging her back to the time machine goes here* 

"You really didn't have to," Hannibal/Scipio Anon said. 

"It was no trouble," Marathon Nonny said ond omg were they really going to do the stupid exchanging pleasantries while on a time sensitive -- PUN VERY MUCH INTENDED -- mission? Gag. 

"No, I mean, you really REALLY didn't have to," said Hannibal/Scipio Anon. "Really really REALLY didn't." 

Something about Hannibal/Scipio Anon's tone of voice nagged at Overly Agressive Anon. "Did you bang Hannibal or Scipio?" 

"Yes." 

"Is that a math joke?" 

Hannibal/Scipio Anon shrugged. 

Marathon Nonny popped some corn. "Dish deets. Which one?" 

Hannibal/Scipio Anon's eyebrow waggled like they were trying to escape from her face. 

"Both? Together?" 

"Hannibal/Scipio/Hannibal/Scipio Anon has got to be the most confusing pairing name ever," Overly Agressive Anon said. "I am so very fucking glad I'm not a wrangler. Gimme some of that popcorn." 


End file.
